One of the last few duties on my list of things to get done was to open a new checking account so I can start paying bills, deposit my moving allotment check, etc. A fairly simple detail you would think, though I admit it's been a long time since I've opened an account. But, damn, here I am with a little more than $3100 in checks in my pocket. So the adventure begins. By the way, I'm going to mention the banks by name, though not the individuals involved.

I first went to Centura Bank. Someone I know had done a fair bit of shopping around, and had told me that Centura had a pretty good deal. We go through the usual information gathering, name, new address, SSN, etc...then she pushes the ENTER button and we wait a few moments. Then she tells me that she's afraid they can't open an account for me as there's some sort of 'flag" on my account at Equifax (a major credit reporting agency in the States, based in Atlanta of all places). And not only can she not tell me what the flag is, nor why the bank can't allow me to open an account, but she says I'll have to check with Equifax, and hands me a form with an 800 number, an application to get the records by mail, and a paragraph stating explicitly that Equifax only provides information. They had nothing to do with the decision that was made! Of course, I hadn't read that paragraph until I got home and was fuming a bit. But I did call to get my free copy of my credit report, anyway.

The funny thing with Equifax is if you're just an average Joe, nobody wants to talk to you, nor help in any way. I simply wanted to find out what the flag was, not get detailed information about my accounts. But I can sort of imagine the nightmare of having enough people, and phone lines, to talk to millions of upset/pissed off people about minor problems. My problem is that I was running out of money and time. One thing that came up during my request is that Equifax refused to recognize my new address. I had to order the report to be sent to my old address and hope it will get forwarded to me. But this made me think that maybe that was part of the problem. So i thought I'd try again.

One other thing I did that night was to contact all my credit issuers to make certain they had my correct address, and explain the situation. In every case, they all stated that they had no problems and from their end couldn't see anything on my report that should cause a problem.

But I wasn't going back to Centura. When the "warning" screen appeared on here computer, I could almost see the lights dimming in her eyes. She seemed to have no idea what to do under any other than usual circumstances. As tricky as my financial situation could get, I don't want that kind of apparent incompetence involved with my banking needs. I have to admit, I could be wrong in my estimation. So this time, I went to SouthTrust bank. It was nearby, and since I used to bank with SunTrust, I hoped there might be some connection. There isn't. However, this person was much more helpful, and much more willing to explore options, such as filling in the information for my old address. We both had doubts, I must admit, since from the bank, Equifax only cares about your SSN, and not the address. And of course, we had the same results. But she at least said if I brought in my credit report, whenever it arrived, perhaps we could bring in the branch manager and perhaps he could override whatever flag it was.

Well, my father was nice enough to offer to cash the checks for me if nothing else, but I would have to leave work early (on my first week on the job) to get there in time. I talked this over with my boss, who was very accomodating and just as irritated that I should have to go through such hassles just to open and damn checking account. He also recommended BB&T..a mostly *just* north carolina bank. I expressed my doubts, but said I would try, anyway. He also recommended that since I had a computer at work why not look up the Equifax site and see what I could find out...*at* work, on the clock! So I did. It turns out, if you fill in all the blanks correctly (I had to use my old address) and verify your identity (among other things, a short quiz about some of your financial records that only you should know) you can view your credit report online for a modest fee. So I did! One thing that appeared to be offered on the site was a print out version..however this feature is still under construction! So, I just viewed each page and printed them as I viewed them..something like seven pages. I wasn't so sure about how much trust a bank would put in these print outs since, quite honestly, I do have the skills to "fake" these sorts of webpages. By why would I leave any questionable information on them if I did? But at least I felt I had some ammunition. If it was rejected, I could pull it out and ask what it was on there that was causing the flag. FYI, and I don't really care, I have some accounts where in the past I have gone between 60 and 90 days past due. That's the worst thing on there. And I need a checking account to keep them current anyway!

So today I went to BB&T armed with my report and my "financial plan" of getting out of debt. Heh, the only time a computer was used was to enter all my information into the bank's records. It took less than 20 minutes to open the account, get the checks deposited (with the option of getting some cash back immediately), get me a book of counter checks to use until my real checks get here and walk back out the door. And if I feel the need, I can get car insurance and renter's insurance through the bank, too.

So, if you're moving, aside from all the other inanities you may run into, be prepared for some really off the wall stupidity. I supposed it's mostly due to the so-called information age. But with all this damn information flying around why the hell couldn't someone tell me what the problem was?

I changed this page on: Thursday Sept 14 2000
Mail any commments to:chunkking
URL: http://chunkking.home.mindspring.com