Unwarranted thoughts lead to an examination of motivations

"whiskey's not sexy. I can do whiskey" - such an innocuous statement and yet it led to a whole day of deep thoughts for me. I'll set the tone: It was late Friday, I was tired as hell, there was drinking going on, but not at my place. Well, I did have a beer at least. We were discussing various forms of alcohol, scotch, whiskey, single malts, etc. When the above was uttered my immediate reaction was "what the hell?" and "Ah the younger generation knows nothing!". These were followed immediately by "Where the hell do I get off thinking like this?". Seems I took it as a direct hit to the ego. I thought I'd stamped my ego out long ago. Hell of a time for it to rear it's ugly little head. And I know damn well the comment wasn't aimed at me. At least I had the restraint to stop typing at the time. But it did make for an interesting day the next morning.

You see, I spent the most part of the Holiday weekend at work, by myself, but enjoying the bits of work I had to do. Fortunately I'd already figured out most of the details ahead of time (for the work) so I could go in and run on "automatic" while my mind was occupied with figuring out my reactions to this statement. And I worked an 8-hour day..so there were lots of thoughts.

1. "So stuff you can't do is sexy?" - an initial reaction. "Ah that explains why women like "dangerous boys"" a.k.a. the "assholes" I keep hearing about from my female aquaintances. This is a wholely unwarranted reaction that I have to smack myself around a bit for. The ego rearing it's ugly little head. But I am so tired of hearing that "I just want to be friends" line and then hearing how good a husband I might make. Explains why I don't go out much anymore.
2. "Do I drink whiskey because I think it makes me sexy?" - Har, har, har. Obviously not. The majority of the time I sit down to a small glass of Single Barrel at home, after I've taken care of the things that need to be done. This isn't a frequent event. But damn soothing when it does happen. Also, I don't like to go out drinking and dabble in whiskey. Enough of it gives me attitude. Some anecdotes for the times I have had whiskey in public:
   • Battling traffic just to get to the Mall - If the Mall has a bar I'll wander in and order a Crown on the Rocks, hand Bartender a $10 and usually have it empty by the time he/she returns with the change. I already have attitude, so what the hell.
   • The night I discovered Single Barrel - we were on the company's charge card and I had never heard of Jack Daniel's Single Barrel. So I ordered it. It was an expensive place ($100 for two, before tip). I had my fill of beer that day at the Rennaisance Festival and wanted something different. So it was a double Single Barrel on the rocks..and a water on the rocks on the side for the de-hydration. At one point I reached for the water glass and grabbed the Single Barrel instead..and took a big swig. And didn't even cough! This stuff is that good
   • Nite before leaving on my road trip home last Thanksgiving - for some damn reason I stopped by the nudie bar to see the girls and one of the ones I've known for some time invites me down the the new local hangout for after work drinks...on me of course. Another "attitude in place" nite. And no Crown at this bar. So I did order a Double Wild Turkey on the Rocks. Have to admit I enjoyed the rounded eyes and ooohs and aaaahs from the crowd. But it wasn't to make me sexy...I was too irritated to feel sexy. It was surprisingly easy to drink, too.
3. "Why do I drink whiskey?" - Too many Westerns, I guess. At least that's probably what got me aimed in this direction. Though I can't imagine sipping warm whiskey after a hot day driving cattle on the range. Maybe after a gunfight. But since then my motives are simpler, I guess. I went through that experimental phase of trying anything behind the bar. But I'm a long time fan of Jack Daniel's. Drank lots on my 18th birthday (it was legal back then and we lived in Texas, anyway). Used to have a love affair with Tequilla. Could still drink it, if the inspiration hits. Unfortunately most of my friends are in the "smell of tequila makes me wanna puke" phase. Tried Scotch:blecch! I've heard you're either a bourbon or a scotch person. I prefer Bourbon Whiskey. Guess I'll never be rich since I don't like scotch and I don't like golf. Oh well.
4. "Do I necessarily want a woman that's turned on by what I drink?" - ah NO! The O.D.B. put me through enough hell, thank you very much. Let's look at another angle: I've heard that Scotch is a rich man's drink. Couldn't tell ya where. So if a woman is excited by the fact that I was drinking scotch, then she's also probably gonna be more excited by my wallet, than by me. Again, not interested. And I know damn well this doesn't apply to the person who uttered the above statement.
5. "What's up with that 'younger generation' crap?" - heh, that one surprised me, too, until I thought about it. I'm not that much older than the person. I think it was the use of the word "do". I used to "do" drugs. I don't "do" whiskey. I sip whiskey. Well, maybe those Mall shots could be called "doing whiskey". It's all a matter of my twisted semantics, I suppose. Alcohol is a drug, right? But its the ... ah hell, I still don't know what I was thinking. It's all in the different motivations behind the use of the controlled substance. I used to smoke pot and then get up and clean house. Now I clean house, cook dinner, then sit down to an icey glass of bourbon, if I have it around. It's a blurred line, I suppose.
6. "So why'd ya feel you had to share all this with us?" - well, I don't know. I have all these thoughts and it was one reason I went with getting webspace. I went with Mindspring because the name appealed to my twisted sense of humor. On the other hand, I felt good about examining my motivations for drinking. All my past experiences with serious alcoholics has given me a dim view of them, not of drinking. I have gone through periods where I've noticed I've been drinking too much, too often. One of those Sunday mornings when I realized that I had come home "hammered" just about every night that week. Not a good feeling. Now my idea of "tieing one on" consists of drinking maybe 4 beers in the safety of my home. Of course, I'm usually drinking alone and that's not necessarily a good thing, either. But it's the safer of the alternatives. And least expensive.

Copyright © 1999-2002
Mail any commments to:chunkking
URL: http://chunkking.home.mindspring.com